I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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