When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
