He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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