I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
