She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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