Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.

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(217): View more from Illinois

You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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(229): View more from Georgia

dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes

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(631): View more from New York

Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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(979): View more from Texas

She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?

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(571): View more from Virginia

How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.

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