mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
