I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
