The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
