There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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