I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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