hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize