I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
