Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
