I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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