only if we run a train.
done.
Dignity is for republicans.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
