is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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