so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
