We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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