Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
