I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
