That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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