you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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