is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Watching her eat just hurts me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
