Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
