She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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