just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize