I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
