There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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