Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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