It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
