Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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