walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
