S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
