420 ftw
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
