I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
