at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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