Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
