That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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