i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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