So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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