i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
