hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
