i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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