no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
