I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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