I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
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She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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