I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i came on her dog
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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