yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
