Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
