no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial