Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
