I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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