You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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