Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
