i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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