I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize