Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
