My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Randomize
