We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He better not be in your backpack
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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