Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
