My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize