The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize