we have officially lost it.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
no, he came in my armpit
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
