I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
