I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
